Carrie Maldonado – Writer

Freelance writer, wordsmith, and novelist

IMG_9433It is the week before Christmas and all through the house…is a frickin’ MESS!!! What the heck? Why didn’t anyone tell me little kids were such slobs? Maybe they did and I was just too busy enjoying my peaceful, mess-free, noise-free twenties and thirties, with absolutely no idea that I even had a maternal clock or once it started ticking it would go into overdrive. “Have twins,” they said. “It’ll be fun,” they said. (Actually, that’s a lie. All my doctors ever told me was how much the pregnancy and first year would suck, which was depressing, but actually did me a favor because the bar was nice and low). But I digress.

Those who know me and my husband, Dreamy, know that we are HUGE fans of New Year Resolutions. We actually call them annual goals, and our big New Year party thing to do is to review the previous year and if anything dramatic happened (HA – or didn’t would be more noteworthy) and set goals for our health, spiritual grown and for our businesses. It’s fun for us.

We’re still going to do that, but it occurs to me that Christmas is in 8 days and it’s going to be BUSY!! All great stuff, mind you, but we’ve got a lot of company coming. Most exciting is our grandson, who, due to blended family dynamics is only 3 months older than the twins. Not only that, the Princess (Grace, not me) has been super jealous of the baby and acting like a total B-Rat, so I have probably yelled at her more in the last month than in her whole life. One more thing I said I’d never do as a parent…

Because we don’t drink alcohol, I can’t indulge in one of those awesome (at least I would have thought so back in the day) glasses that hold a whole bottle in order to fortify myself so I must attain my serenity non-chemically. Therefore, I am making Mommy Resolutions for Christmas.

  • I will give myself 10 minutes of decompression time at least once a day. Now, I know this is not enough to do anything, but if I made the number any higher I wouldn’t believe me anyway. 10 minutes actually seems kind of doable.
  • I will embrace the fact that I will request carpet cleaning for Valentine’s day and stop trying to fight the inevitable. That might actually buy me another 15 minutes a day. Dreamy…your gift list is complete. No flowers, no chocolate, just clean carpets.
  • I will let the kids eat like crap for a week. Only for a week, but I’m pretty sure I can’t control the flow of cookies and candy so I’m just gonna embrace it, even if they don’t want to eat their healthy meals. At some point they’ll start craving protein again, right?
  • NO MORE CRAFTS. I’ve done the gingerbread house, we did the incredibly annoying handprint ornaments and more cookie baking and decorating than is probably healthy. Reality is, they’re just too young and if they’re actually enjoying it, it’s because they’re doing things that are endangering their lives. Twin 20-month olds and a psychotically jealous three year old do NOT make good baking or coloring decisions. Period.
  • I WILL look for the humor, even when I want to leave them on the neighbor’s doorstep. Now, I’m NOT going to do this. They seem pretty nice, but I hardly know them and after a few weeks I would totally miss my kids (especially Adam). And it is kind of funny in a ‘I’m glad that’s not me…oh wait, it’s me) kind of way. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY KIDS??????!?!?!

So that’s it. My five Mommy resolutions to help me enjoy Christmas, not freak out and just have fun because this is the only year when they’re 2 and 3 that I’ll ever get. If you have any resolutions, I’d love to hear them!

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