Carrie Maldonado – Writer

Freelance writer, wordsmith, and novelist

Does this ever happen to you? You’re functioning (or barely) throughout the day, doing life, when all of a sudden a PROFOUND LIFE TRUTH hits you, and you think “I’ve got to write this down and then blog about it”? If you are like me, then once you process that PROFOUND LIFE TRUTH, you immediately start analyzing it to ensure it is applicable in absolutely every life situation. Now, you may think this is insane (because it is) but it is actually a step UP in insanity. You see, I am a recovering ‘literal thinker’ (also known as black and white thinker). This means that if someone tells me something, and I carefully vet it (usually by looking them in the eye and saying ‘really?’ and it is confirmed (by them saying ‘yeah’) then I classify this statement as truth. Always true, in all circumstances. I’m sure you can see the problems with this. For years I believed things that were only true sometimes, or not true at all. So, I have learned to add caveats to my truths to keep myself and others out of danger. If you are not a literal thinker this makes no sense to you but trust me – it helps. My daughter might also be a literal thinker. It’s hard to tell because she’s three and they’re all like that at three, but the other day I said I ‘lost my cookies’ I was so upset about something.  She came up to me about twenty minutes later offering to help me look for the cookies I lost!

Truth 1: Never say no when a child asks you to read to them
I think this can probably be true 89% of the time. There is not much that can’t be on hold and developing a love of reading in my kids is, in my opinion, one of my most important jobs as a Mom. Note that I said ‘one of’ which leads me to the
Caveat to Truth 1: Unless children 2 and 3 are in imminent, albeit self-inflicted, peril, or unless you know the child asking to hear a story is being used as a decoy while 2 and 3 see if the fish is flammable. If there is a safety issue, you are allowed to say no when a child asks you to read to them. (but you really should read the story after you put out the fire)

Truth 2: Your body is the perfect container for you
I have been telling my daughter this since she was 2 days old and I’m pretty sure she believes it because she will approach any one of us at any given time, demanding we appreciate her beautiful feet, or tummy or whatever body part she’s decided to admire for the day. I think it’s good to take a second and just appreciate all the places we can go and things we can do that we couldn’t do without our bodies. Most women go through a journey of acceptance where their bodies are concerned which usually involves letting go of the idea of attaining perfection. Which leads me to my caveat.
Caveat to Truth 2: This is not a license to destroy your container prematurely. Just because you have realized that most models are airbrushed and you have the build of a Ukrainian peasant woman (I know, just me again) does NOT mean you get to lie on the couch and eat corn chips all day. It is good to be as healthy and fit as you can be to enjoy life to the fullest.

Truth 3: What other people think of me is none of my business
I really hold with this one. In my personal and professional life I am called to make decisions or do things that are not always universally appreciated (isn’t everyone)? If I worry too much about pleasing everyone, I compromise what I think is right and then I’ve rendered my presence irrelevant. I have cut out or retrained all the people in my life who utter the statement “I just thought you should know…” followed by something mean someone said about me. I don’t care. And even when I do care I don’t want to know. It does me no good to know something hurtful about myself. However…
Caveat to Truth 3. If I’m being a hurtful jerk, it is my business and I need to stop. Truth 3 is not a license for unrestricted assholery (sorry. I know that’s crude but it really is the best term)

Truth 4: Always read a book someone you respect recommends
This one has also served me well and I’ve learned a lot by doing this. Not too many caveats to this one except:
Caveats to Truth 4: (See truth one for the safety thing if you are a parent, or in other words, you may not be able to read it IMMEDIATELY) but more importantly, remember that just because someone you respect recommends it doesn’t mean it’s good, or true. Use discernment.

Truth 5: You’ll regret what you haven’t done more than what you have
The point behind this truth is that you shouldn’t let fear stop you from pursuing your dreams. Yes. Absolutely agree with this.
Caveat to Truth 5: Truth 5 is IMMEDIATELY voided out if you add alcohol. Just sayin’

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