This is the third of a three part blog post. The first post was about blooming where you’re planted, or accepting people, places and things that are out of our control. The second was about change, and its role in life and in fiction. For me, one of the most difficult aspects of change and acceptance is knowing when which is appropriate. It takes a level of discernment, or wisdom, to know when to apply either acceptance or change to a situation.
For much of my life, I was approaching things pretty much 100% backwards. I spent untold amounts of time and energy trying to change things that were out of my control (pretty much every other person, place or thing in my life) and was in complete acceptance about things that were in my control and were changeable if only I was willing to take action. Needless to say, this approach did not attain me peace of mind.
Two of my most interesting characters, Melayna and Holly (Broken Warriors and Grief, Inc) struggle with the same challenges. It was a struggle writing both of them at the beginning of their journeys because they were both so desperate for love and happiness and yet so completely clueless about how to attain either. As happens a lot in real life, their misguided approaches to life and love left them alienated and confused. It’s often not easy to see clearly what in life requires effort to change and what requires acceptance and you definitely need the willingness to be honest with yourself about yourself in order to achieve the wisdom. Both Holly and Melayna achieved that willingness only after severe beat downs by life (actually, by yours truly) but it was the platform for transformation. Can anyone relate?